It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve watched “Prometheus,” and while it’s still fresh in my mind I will write about it.

I’m a huge fan of the Alien movies.  I even bought and read the comic books made from them way back when I was younger.   So, of course, I’m partial to liking “Prometheus.”  But I think I’d still like this movie if I had never watched any of the Alien movies.  “Prometheus” is simply a good, sci-fi flick.

So…the most memorable moments in this movie.   Top honors would go to the opening sequence where a human or humanoid (his head looks like an Easter Island statue, and his skin color was gray, I think) stands near the edge of a waterfall.   He disrobes, and he is freakishly built.  If Arnold Schwarzenegger had sex with a mountain gorilla instead of his maid, this humanoid creature would be the result.  Anyway, Easter Island dude pops something into his mouth, and his body starts to disintegrate.  And it looks very painful.  He falls into the waters below, and we see his DNA spread out into the waters.   Although it’s not explicitly stated, we are to assume that we Earthlings are the product of this idiot’s sacrifice.   I’m sorry, but there’s no way in hell I would give up my life — and in a painful way at that — to bring forth life into a planet.   I’ll toss in some cut fingernails, maybe spit in the water.   If that doesn’t bring about life in a few million years, oh, well, I tried.

On we go to another memorable moment in “Prometheus.”  The semi-suicide of one of the crew, who becomes infected with Alien crap.  He knows he’s screwed, and his body is morphing into something that doesn’t make him happy, and he’s in a lot of pain (similar to the ones we feel when we see the final cost of filling up our gas tanks).   So at the entrance to the ship, he’s told to stay back because of his infection.   Charlize Theron warns him with a flamethrower.   Infected guy moves forward, since he no longer wants to live with his affliction; and he’s quickly turned into a fiery marshmallow.   Being burned to death sounds painful to me.  When I was very young, I was stupid enough to put my finger in a car cigarette lighter after it was pushed in and came out.  It was…extremely painful.  I also would like to add that…it was extremely painful.  And that was just the very tip of one finger.  Anyway, why didn’t infected guy ask for some drugs to make him super happy, then sleepy; and tell his crewmates to kill him after he’s passed out?  Yes, I know the burning is much more dramatic.  But when you know virtually no one would take that option of being burned alive while conscious, you can’t help but cry “b.s.” either out loud or in your mind.  Either way, it deducts points from the movie.   Only movies that are super cool and awesome can have b.s. moments which doesn’t really hurt the movie.  This movie isn’t one of those super cool and awesome ones.

Before I write about my final memorable moment, I have to warn you about a spoiler here, as I’ll be talking about the ending of the movie.   For those fans of “Alien” and “Aliens,” there is the mystery of the derelict ship and the fossilized body of the lone pilot whose chest has burst from the inside.  This pilot has been nicknamed “The Space Jockey.”  Well, “Prometheus” answers those mysteries.  Kind of.  You see, “Prometheus” shows us how the ship came to its final resting place; and we see the last surviving “Space Jockey” manning his ship during takeoff.  But…after it crashed, the pilot gets out of the ship and chases our heroine.  The “Space Jockey” is grabbed by an octopus-like alien, and has something forced down his throat.   The “Space Jockey” wakes up — still far from his spaceship — and an alien bursts out of his chest, killing the Jockey.  Therefore…how do we still have the body of the “Space Jockey” in the pilot seat in the spaceship in the movies “Alien” and “Aliens?”  Maybe I missed some piece of information, maybe there were two surviving “Space Jockeys”…I do remember watching this movie intently, paying attention to every detail.  And as far as I can remember, there was only one living “Space Jockey.”  So if I’m right, what hell, Ridley!

Hmmmm…between this paragraph and the previous one, a few hours have passed; and after doing a bit of research, it turns out the planet that the majority of “Prometheus” takes place on may be different from the planet involved in “Alien” and “Aliens.”  But if you’ve seen the first 2 Alien movies and then watch “Prometheus,” you’ll understand my confusion.  And confusion seems to be what Ridley Scott is creating.  No this isn’t a direct prequel to “Alien,” yes this has some DNA involved with “Alien,” no this has nothing to do with “Alien,” yes this has somethings familiar with “Alien.”  What the hell, Ridley!  I’ve seen “Alien,” “Aliens,” “Alien 3,” “Alien Resurrection,” “Alien vs Predator” and “Aliens vs Predators: Requiem” a combined 50 times, rough guess.  “Prometheus” is definitely a prequel to the Alien saga.  Why the director is acting coy like a 13 year old schoolgirl about to get felt up for the first time, I have no idea.

If it walks like an Alien, hisses like an Alien, and kills like an Alien, it probably is an Alien.

M

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