Do I really need to give you a synopsis of the earlier “Spider-Man” movie?  Okay, for those of you who have never heard of this comic book character because your parents believed movies and t.v. and comic books are the devil’s playground (by the way, the devil’s playground are the bridges and tunnels of NYC; and oh, how that red bastard loves to play with us), here’s the overall scoop: a teenager gets bitten by a radioactive spider and develops superpowers that he uses to fight crime.

Although not my favorite comic book hero, Spider-Man is one of my favorites.  Why?  Because he’s a smart-ass; and I tend to be one.  At work I used to be confrontational when having a bad day or when seeing management abuse us.   Now I make sarcastic, funny comments that aren’t enough to get me into trouble; but still I make my point and it relieves some of the stress that I feel.  Spider-Man likes the colors red and blue, as do I.  I just have to be careful not to get into Crips or Bloods territory!   Spider-Man grew up in Queens, NYC, as I did.  And for the record, NYC is not Manhattan.  NYC is composed of 5 boroughs, of which Manhattan is one of them.   Anyway…

Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man, is someone whom most of us can relate to.  He was a bit of a geek/nerd in school, was awkward with the ladies, always had money issues (meaning he was usually broke), and tried his best to do the right thing.   He could have used his powers for his own benefit, but instead he fights crime and usually catches hell for it.  Would I be so generous to the public if I had superpowers?  Hell no!  Are you kidding!  You really don’t know me!  I would rob and maim criminals.  Why maim and not kill?  A criminal with all limbs and face broken beyond repair does greater psychological damage to other criminals than seeing one in a box.   No way I would work a regular job.  I would feed on the criminals — especially the rich ones — so I can get the things that I want.  Once in a while I would give money to organizations that help stray doggies and kitties — a win-win scenario for myself and the public.

“Spider-Man” is a very good movie that I have seen about 5 times already.   One reason is Sam Raimi, the director.  Yes, the same guy who made “Evil Dead,” you know, the movie where the woman gets raped by a tree.  Yes, a tree!  Well, it turns out Raimi is a big Spider-Man fan; and it shows in the movie.   Directors of movies based on comic books who aren’t fans of those specific comic books and never read them usually make bad adaptations, like “X-Men.”  I won’t get into that here, as that’s a whole other review to write later on.   Back to Raimi: he did a fantastic job on this movie, as did actors Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, and Willem Dafoe.

One thing I didn’t like about the movie was how Spidey’s web comes out.  In the comics, Parker creates a bracelet thing with various cartridges that contains the fluid that turns into his webs when they shoot out.  A trigger is attached from the bracelet to his palm (under his glove); and that’s why he makes that hand movement to shoot the webs out — he’s pressing on the trigger.  In the movie, the webs come out of his body through his wrist.  Now I realize some of you like the movie’s version, especially those of you who never read a Spider-Man comic.  You say, “It makes sense for him to have the webs come from his body, like a spider.”  Oh, yeah?  Doesn’t it make more sense to have the webs come out of his ass, like a spider!  That’s what I thought.

And now it’s time for Manny’s memorable movie moments.   Spoiler alert for the first one!   At the end of the movie, Mary Jane, played by Dunst, tells Peter Parker, played by Maguire, that she loves him, and not Spider-Man.  They kiss, and Parker tells Mary Jane that he just wants to be friends.  He loves her, of course; but realizes that all whom he loves are put in danger if his identity is ever revealed.  So in his mind, he’s protecting her by not being her lover.  Sorry, it doesn’t make sense.  You see, Mary Jane is still very close to Parker, so if bad guys know who Spider-Man is, they’ll still go after her.  Yeah, I know, it was done for drama.  But drama without the logic to back it up is just b.s.  Oh, when Parker is walking away, Mary Jane realizes that the kiss she just had with Parker was the same as the kiss she had with Spider-Man, and she just discovered Spidey’s true identity.  That was really cool the way they did it.  Very, very subtle.

My most memorable movie moment is the scene where the Green Goblin has been knocked off his glider by Spider-Man, and is now surrounded by the NYPD.  The cops — most don’t even have their guns drawn — order him to stop and not move as they close in.   Goblin attacks the cops and gets away.  What the hell!   A few moments ago, the Green Goblin killed people with explosives and caused maybe millions of dollars in property damage.  And the NYPD don’t shoot him when they have the chance!  Is this the same, NYPD that shot a black man dozens of times for holding his wallet!   The same NYPD who illegally went into that same, black man’s apartment to look for anything that can smear his name so that the shooting would seem more justified (they didn’t find a damn thing, by the way)?  Raimi, dude, are you kidding me!

The only possible explanation for the NYPD’s actions that I can think of is…that they knew it was a white guy inside that Green Goblin costume.

M

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