In the fourth movie of the Underworld series, “Underworld: Awakening” has Selene and all the vampires and werewolves running for their lives when humans find out about their existence and decide to eradicate them.  What!  You mean with all the shootouts and killings and funky, black, leather outfits, humans have actually started to wonder what was happening?  Well, they did, and the result of all that is the near extinction of vampires and werewolves due to the “cleansing.”   Oh, Selene and her half vampire/half werewolf lover, Michael, are captured and put on ice for experiments.   Yup, I can just imagine the kind of experiments a 45-year-old geek scientist who still has posters of “Felicity” on his bedroom wall would do to Selene.

There’s nothing special about this movie.  There are tons of action, but very little character development, which means the audience won’t care much for what happens to the characters.  A movie that doesn’t pull the audience emotionally to it is a dead movie.  It’s like eating rice cakes.  No matter if it’s flavored with caramel, it’s still not satisfying; and if you never eat it again, you won’t care.  To add insult to the audience’s injuries, the movie ends like a television series.  So we’re not even getting an ending to this series.  It’ll just keep going and going as long as there’s a bit profit to be made, similar to the “Resident Evil” movie series.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if there are 10 movies planned for any story, as long as they are very well made.  That’s just not the case with this movie.

I have 2 memorable, movie moments in this “rice cake” of a movie.  First up is the sequence when Selene escapes the building that she was held in for experimentation.  The action and deaths come fast and brutal.  For example, she broke a scientist’s arm and 6 inches of arm bone shot out of his flesh; then she put him out of his misery with a scalpel to his head.  Her escape is what I expected from “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” when Wolverine escaped from the building where he was experimented on.  Sadly, the latter movie was PG-13, so the violence was limited.   “Underworld: Awakening” had the license to be ultra-violent, but lacked the emotional depth.  You get stroked with one hand, get slapped by another.  That’s great for sex, not so good for movies.

The second memorable, movie moment is the scene where we meet the super werewolf.  He’s about 3 times the size of an average werewolf, and  scary enough to empty the bowels of the toughest men with just a look.  But the frightening illusion is destroyed when you see who the actor is who plays the super werewolf — a guy who looks like Chris Martin from Coldplay.   So when he transforms into the super werewolf again, you get this image of the beast hunched over a piano like Schroeder from “Peanuts” and singing “The Scientist.”

M

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