This fourth sequel of the “Final Destination” movies has nine people who escape death at a car racing show (four are friends, and the remaining 5 were lucky enough to have followed the four out of the stadium just before the cars started to crash and kill the spectators).  But anyone who is familiar with the “Final Destination” movies knows that the survivors aren’t really lucky, because The Grim Reaper will not be cheated out of his body count.

“The Final Destination” is a very short, 82 minutes.   And if you discount the opening and ending credits, the movie runs at about 76 minutes.  Don’t let this fool you into thinking you’ll be cheated of deaths and gore and “oh, s@*t!” moments.  This movie delivers on all those things, and it does it with tight, fast pacing.   It doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a simple, shock-horror movie that teases the audience’s anticipation of when and how the victims will die; and it does this very well.  Most of the deaths made me wince and cringe; but a few made me laugh because they were just so ridiculous, and I didn’t care for most of the victims.

An example of the laughable deaths is one of the memorable, movie moments of this particular title.  It is the scene when a movie theater multiplex is on fire, and some dumbass employee tells the panicked crowd to calm down and exit the theater in a safe manner.  Seconds after Employee Dumbass says that, he gets a gory death.  There’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity; and a movie theater employee who stands his ground while the building is on fire telling people to be calm is a damned idiot!  You can bet your ass I’ll be the one trampling over the heads of little kids as I make my way to the exit!  Hey, I’m just being practical.  Some people aren’t meant to survive disasters.  There’s no point in both of us being killed, so if you can’t move at my pace, and you’re not one of my favorite people, I…will…leave…you…behind.

Now…the most memorable, movie moment of “The Final Destination” is the sequence when one of the survivors — who is a bigot — is planning on burning a cross on the front lawn of a black survivor played by Mykelti Williamson.  Well, Mr. Death taps Mr. Bigot on the shoulder, and very quickly Mr. Bigot finds himself hooked to his tow truck, dragged, and set on fire while the radio in his tow truck plays “Why Can’t We Be Friends?”  Buwahahahahaha!   Karma can be a b#@%h.

Hmmm…gather around closely, boys and girls, closer to the campfire as Manny tells you a true tale.  When Hurricane Sandy hit the Northeast, there was a brave, young man (a surfer) who saved many of his neighbors from drowning by tying a rope across a very flooded street.  This happened in Long Island, NY, I think.  This young man helped shuttle his neighbors from one side of the street to another during the raging storm, risking his life many times over; and he was all over the papers, branded as a hero (a well-deserved brand).  A few weeks after that incident, he went surfing in another country…and he drowned.

M

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