Here is a prophecy for you: most of you who have watched “The Prophecy 3” probably thought it sucked, and I will agree with you.  So, what do we have here?  Well, there’s this young man who is half angel and half human; and he’s supposed to be the ticket for the angels who are fighting against God to be able to beat God and bring the destruction of humans.   How so?  This hybrid creature can kill a powerful angel who is God’s biggest enemy.   So, the bad angels send a bad angel to kill the hybrid.  I know!  Only one bad angel!  That’s like using one Combat bait trap to kill a house full of roaches!   Anyway, helping the hybrid survive the terminator angel is Christopher Walken, a fallen angel who is no longer an angel — he’s just a plain human with really bad hair.

Sounds interesting so far, right?  Of course it does.   Just like someone telling you that you will get breakfast in bed tomorrow will sound interesting.  You’ll actually look forward to it!  And then the morning comes, and you get a breakfast made by a seven-year-old: burnt toast that has fallen on the floor, runny eggs that has lots of eggshells in it, assorted candies (one of which turns out to be a marble that somehow made its way there), etc.   You get the point.  A great plan is worthless if it’s carried out by Rhesus monkeys.

“The Prophecy 3″…how I loathe thee, let me count the ways…

This is an example of beating a dead horse — or in this case, a dead storyline — to death, trying to get every last bit of worth from something that should have been left alone since part 1.  Now, with a talented writer and director, it’s possible to revive a worn out series of movies and create something entertaining.  But that is not the case with this movie.  Everything about “The Prophecy 3” is mediocre.

I really had to think very hard on what my most memorable, movie moment of “The Prophecy 3” is.  I could be cruel and say it was when the final credits started to roll.  But…I will say that it was the scene when the hybrid dude had a vision of what was in store for the humans should the bad angels win the war against God: a mountain of naked, human bodies writhing like they were in an enormous orgy; and on top was the big, bad angel, smiling at the destruction of what he considers monkeys.

On a positive note, the director and editor has shown us a bit of mercy by giving this movie a short running time of 84 minutes.

You know what?  I’m thinking about burning this VHS copy of this crappy movie while standing over it, smiling at the destruction of garbage.

— M