Archives for posts with tag: Milla Jovovich

Robert De Niro plays a prison psychiatrist who is analyzing “Stone,” a prisoner played by Edward Norton, in order to assess Norton’s fitness to be paroled.  De Niro is the typical, prison employee who is extremely cynical about the ability of prisoners to change their ways; and Norton is the typical, angry convict looking to game the system so he can be set free.

Norton devises a two-pronged attack against De Niro so that De Niro will give him a favorable assessment.  1) Norton will pretend to find religion and enlightenment; and 2) Norton will order his trashy wife (played by Milla Jovovich) to seduce De Niro.

Regarding number 1: Norton chooses some weird religion that states that if you listen closely enough, you can start to tune out the everyday world noise and focus on certain vibrations that are God’s words — something like that.  Of all the religions to choose to bull@$#t  somebody, he chooses that?  But…it works in this movie.  More on this later.

As for number 2: at first I thought it would never work, since De Niro is so by the book and uptight; and he’s about to retire so I didn’t think he would take the bait and risk losing his job and possibly going to prison.  Then again, he’s in a loveless marriage, he’s an old dude, his wife doesn’t do it for him, and Jovovich is a looker with a strong sex drive.

Before you think that there’s going to be some big, love triangle drama going on…nope.  “Stone” is mostly about Norton’s transformation from a corn row-braided wigger to a full believer in the weird religion that he chose to b.s. De Niro with.  And that transformation is the best part of this less than mediocre movie.  Norton goes balls out at the start of the movie, very hyper and combative.  Halfway through, the corn rows are gone, he’s more insightful and accepting of what his place is in the world.  The last half of Norton’s performance, although much more subtle than the first half, is the most powerful and memorable of the two.  Also, I found his character more likeable after the change, so that helped me to keep watching “Stone” all the way to the end.

So, should you  watch “Stone,” all the way to the end?   This is a tough one.  If you’re looking for a slow moving movie about redemption, you may want to give this a chance.  If it’s not for you, you can always press “stop” on your remote and watch another movie.

My most memorable, movie moment of “Stone” is the first scene when we see Jovovich naked.  Yes, it’s very man-piggish of me to say it, but hey, I’m being honest.  I’ve never seen Jovovich naked before in a movie, so it was good to finally see her in her birthday suit.

Despite me stating that “Stone” rates below mediocre, I did enjoy this movie because there were certain parts that I really liked — yes, besides the naked scenes.  I think it was Norton’s ability to find some peace in the world and in himself.  As Norton stated to De Niro, Norton is still very much who he is.  He’ll get angry at times and be confrontational.  But he listens more, tuning in to certain sounds that he believes comes from God, sounds that help him cope with life and give him some guidance.  Real or imagined, I envy his newfound sense of peace.  I’ve searched for it all my life, and I still haven’t made peace with myself nor the world.

— M

The fifth movie of the “Resident Evil” series, “Resident Evil: Retribution” is what I call a “rice cake” movie.  On the outside, there is volume, but there’s really not much there; there’s some texture, some flavor, but little substance.  Why does Hollywood keep making these movies?  Because dumb asses keep paying to watch them!  Maybe you’re one of them.  I’m not — I saw this movie for free (thanks, library!).

So, here’s the plot: Milla Jovovich wakes up in a huge, underground lab in Europe.  While her friends topside come down to rescue her, Jovovich has to go through several sections of the lab (like levels in a video game) in order to rendezvous with her friends.  Oh, Jovovich has a little girl in tow, played by Aryana Engineer (if I was her I’d find a way to engineer myself into better movies).   Engineer is one of many clones that populate the lab; and her specific clone has been imprinted with memories that she is the daughter of a Jovovich clone.  So, Engineer thinks that the regular Jovovich is her mommy.  Silly, over the top, non-engaging action sequences litter the movie.  And that’s it.  That’s the movie.

Runner up to my most memorable, movie moment is the scene when Jovovich and Engineer see the long lines of clones of themselves and others.  Engineer starts freaking out, and asks Jovovich what the clones are, then asks her if she is her real mommy.  This is memorable because it shows how well Engineer can act; and it shows that this little girl is the best actor in this movie.

My most memorable, movie moment is the last scene.  No, I’m not being a smart ass.  The last scene is purely a scene out of the deepest depths of hell.  Worse than being molested by the TSA.  Worse than being stopped and frisked because your skin color is too dark.  Worse than banks being bailed out by their politician friends using your tax money, and having those same banks come roaring back with increased fines and fees for you and moi.  Worse than the government curtailing your rights supposedly to keep you safe.   And what is this scene?   A very famous building with remnants of the military holding off tens of thousands of monsters.


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