Archives for posts with tag: Ryan Reynolds

Grade C

Manny’s Movie Musings: astronauts do the dumbest things and start messing with an alien lifeform that is evolving at a fast rate; and when things start to go bad they just forget basic safety precautions and containment procedures.  The victims’ deaths are somewhat interesting; the evolution of the alien is somewhat interesting.   “Somewhat interesting” should not be the result of a $58 million movie.  Adding more misery to “Life” is the inevitable comparison to “Alien,” a masterpiece of a movie.   Whoever greenlit “Life” for production probably has no life left in his career in the movie business.

— M

Grade A

Outrageous!  Ridiculous!  Hilarious!  Highly entertaining!

Ryan Reynolds stars as a hired thug with a heart of gold.  His life of being a poor man’s “Equalizer” is turned upside down (for the better) when he falls in love with a woman (played by Morena Baccarin) who is in every way his soulmate.  Of course, life hits Reynolds in the groin when he is at his happiest moment: he is diagnosed with cancer.

The normally fast-talking, smart-ass Reynolds is devastated, mostly because of his fear of losing Baccarin and what his condition will do to her.  Then one night, a creepy looking man tells Reynolds that he can be part of an experimental program that will cure his cancer.  Desperate, Reynolds agrees.  Taken to a dungeon-like environment and strapped down, Reynolds understands too late what he is in for.  He is injected with chemicals that will try to unlock his latent mutant genes — assuming he has any — and then he’ll be subjected to non-stop torture in order for the stress to trigger his mutation.

The long, painful experiment is a success…so to speak.  Reynolds does become a mutant with powers to regenerate damaged tissue; but his skin has turned into something that resembles third degree burns. He is also a prisoner, and is threatened with having his mind altered so he can be controlled and sold as a slave to the highest bidder.

Torture and slavery not being part of his life goals, Reynolds escapes, puts on a suit to hide his identity and hideous face, takes on the name of “Deadpool,” and goes on a savage hunt to find those responsible for his freakish transformation.  But his ultimate goal is to force the bad guys to turn him back into a regular human so he can continue his life with Baccarin.

My most memorable, movie moment of “Deadpool” is the scene when Reynolds fights Colossus, an X-Men member with the power to turn his body into metal.  Reynolds hits Colossus with one hand and he breaks his hand!  He hits Colossus with his other hand and breaks that too!  Then Reynolds kicks Colossus and…yup, you guessed it: he breaks his foot!  Hopping around in pain with both hands and one foot broken, Reynolds kicks Colossus with his good foot and breaks that one too!  As I was trying to catch my breath while laughing my ass off, I wondered what the hell was wrong with Reynolds!  Then I figured it out: Reynolds just does not give up.

Parents: be warned, “Deadpool” deserves its R rating.  There is a lot of cursing and sex in this movie.  Oh, and lots of bloody violence.  Keep the kiddies away from this one.  For the adults: if you enjoyed “Ant-Man” and “Zack And Miri Make A Porno,” you’ll love “Deadpool” as it has many elements of those two movies.  The writers of “Deadpool” took a big chance on having Reynolds talk to the audience and make lots of movie references and insider jokes about filmmaking and celebrity; but the gamble paid off.  Instead of taking me out of the movie, I got more involved with it (I’m old enough to know all of Reynolds’ movie reference jokes) and it endeared me toward the Deadpool character — I wanted this guy to win; and judging by the box office receipts, so did many people.

Yes, Maximus, I was very much entertained.  I will see this movie again; but not yet…not yet.

— M

“R.I.P.D.” comes in very much alive and kicking; and places high in the list of action/comedy, buddy cop movies.

Ryan Reynolds plays a psuedo-dirty cop who is partnered with all out, dirty cop played by Kevin Bacon.  The two have split chunks of gold they came upon during a drug bust, and Reynolds decides to turn his loot in so that he can have a clear conscience and be the good man who his wife thinks he is.  The Bacon man — having other ideas — uses an AK-type weapon and a crap-load of bullets to silence Reynolds forever.

Reynolds’ soul is quickly taken up by a vortex in the sky, and he joins many other souls that are going up to a bright light so they can be judged.  But…other factions in the afterlife have other plans for Reynolds.  He is pulled aside — literally — and given the choice of joining the “Rest In Peace Department” (responsible for apprehending dead souls who have managed to escape the vortex and judgment and remained on Earth) to make a better case for himself before he is judged, or to just go to judgment and take his chances.  Reynolds joins the heavenly police force, not just to give himself a better chance of going to heaven; but to also see his wife again.  You see, Reynolds, as a member of the R.I.P.D., comes back as a physical being on Earth, and his beat will be his hometown where his wife is.   Unfortunately, as explained to Reynolds by his new R.I.P.D. partner played by Jeff Bridges, he won’t look or sound like anything he was when he was alive.   Plus if Reynolds tries telling his wife what happened to him and who he really is, it’ll come out as garbled words.

Well, with that idea of reuniting with his wife gone to hell, Reynolds focuses on his new job bagging the dead who roam the Earth.  Jeff Bridges, playing one of the best roles in his career, schools Reynolds on how things are done; and they find themselves on a case involving an ancient artifact that can reverse the vortex and bring a rain of dead souls upon the Earth.  Wow.  And I thought 10 inches of snow in NYC last Thursday and Friday was bad!

When I saw the trailer for “R.I.P.D.” last year, I thought it was going to be a stupid movie despite its interesting premise.  Well, I was very wrong.  This is a highly enjoyable movie that didn’t get its just due in the theaters, but hopefully it’ll find its footing in home video.  Reynolds and Bridges are perfectly cast as partners in the “R.I.P.D.”  And in the buddy-cop genre, that is extremely important.   Bridges does an excellent job transforming himself into a lawman from the 19th Century — very believable and funny even though his character doesn’t mean to be funny.   The Bacon man also deserves kudos for his portrayal of the main bad guy, playing him with just the right amount of evil and charm.  Add to all this a funny, lighthearted script that has good pacing and a director who knows what the hell he’s doing, and you have a movie that should’ve been a hit.  I don’t know what happened.  Oh, yeah, we live in a crazy world where untalented idiots make millions with their “reality” t.v. shows, and people still believe in what politicians spew out of their mouths.

Well, believe this part: my most memorable, movie moment of “R.I.P.D.” is the scene when Reynolds finds out that his Earthly body is of an old, Chinese man; and the Earthly body of Bridges is of a very tall, blonde, Victoria’s Secret model.  Haha!  God does have a sense of humor.

M

Ryan Reynolds plays a low-level CIA agent who babysits a safe house all by his lonesome.  No, it’s not the house that Katie Holmes used as she made plans to get away from the “Top Gun” actor with the overly big, front teeth.  A safe house is a temporary place that you can hole up in as you wait for the heat to die down so you can make your final getaway.  Huh.  Maybe it can be referred to Holmes’ situation.  But in this movie, it’s a series of places that Denzel Washington — a rogue, former agent of the U.S. — is sent to before the CIA can take full custody of him in the U.S.  “Safe House” should be called “Unsafe House” because the bad guys seem to know where he is most of the time.  What!  You think someone in the CIA is feeding the meanies information as to the whereabouts of Washington?  How the hell did you know!

Washington is like a black, Jason Bourne with a scary smile.  He has information on the dirty dealings of spy organizations such as the CIA (no way, those guys are heroes, they can never do bad things to anyone!), the British MI-6 (no, that’s not the new BMW car), the Mossad (no, that’s not an Indian dish), etc.  So naturally, he’s a hunted man, and they nab him.  Reynolds gets caught up in all this nonsense and he slowly realizes that the bad guys were sent by the same organization he works for.   D’oh! He should have read the fine print in his contract before signing up with the CIA.  I have a copy, and it states, “we have the right to f@#k you up whenever we feel like it.”

Did I like the movie?  Yes I did.  Just not that much.   How much?  That much.   “Safe House” is well-directed, moves fast, has lots of action, intense hand to hand fighting scenes, good acting, and it didn’t cost me anything to watch (thanks, library!).

On to the most memorable movie moment.  The sequence when the first safe house is compromised.  It has the feel of a horror movie.   Alarms go off, lights start flickering as the bad guys mess with the safe house’s power supply, rooms go dark, the nervous, CIA escorts of Washington take positions and wait for the numerous thugs to come to their floor…It’s an intense, high body count moment.

Another memorable part of “Safe House” is how cool Washington is when he’s being tortured, or when the bad guys are shooting their way in and he’s tied to a chair and can’t defend himself.  He doesn’t look worried.  He doesn’t even flinch.   I would’ve flinched.  Then peed my Hanes.  Then squirted out some feces.  Then cried as tears and snot mix to drip down my chin.  Okay, I’m not that soft.  When I was arrested and put in a holding cell, I didn’t beg or plead or cry.  I put on my game face and kept it as I was processed.  Then again, a dozen thugs with automatic weapons weren’t trying to kill me.

M

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